Saturday, January 13, 2007
there was an outing organised by zhenkai today. 4.30pm at orchard mrt station. haha tink it was to be fun since we haven meet up for days.. lols i really enjoyed myself today but only up till we separated and went home.
i was waiting for bus home at yck interchange when wei xing called me. throughout the whole day, he has been smsing up till now when im blogging.. only stopped awhile when im having nap on way to sch and when im having my lesson. i wonder.. how long can i take this? i din meant to be rude or wad.. but it can be qte irritating if u hafta reply ppl's sms all the day esp when they keep asking abt.. wad u doing?.. eaten alreadi?..today so cold...u slp?...u got watch tv?...such things for example.. how LONG can i actually tolerate these...i wonder .. im sorry but i hafta say that this is really testing my patience.
wad came to worse was that i may no longer tolerate these further. all these years, i have been learning how to keep judgements to myself and give up on no one. give up as in believe that everyone is nice in some way or other. since being a teacher has always been my aspiration, i told myself that i must learn not to give up hope on anybody esp the kids im gg to teach next time(if i really can fulfil my dream). however, i have a feeling im gg to give up believing in someone in particular this time round. is he really telling lies? why he want to make use of miko? why he keep telling me how bad the others are including his own frens? is this wad he calls "friendship"? is friendship such an unworthy thing to him such that he can backstab others all he wants? i began to feel tired of these nonsense.. how?
it has been a long time im stucked in this weird and problematic situation.. never, since jc times. now, i really lost in handling such matters. i wish to take no stand, pass no judgement to anyone but im struggling with this. do i really have the choice to be neutral and stay as frens with all of them? ... i hope cos they are forcing me to choose indirectly.. bombarding me with nonsense about each other every time.. i just wish to be myself... a happy-go-lucky me.
also, i feel guilty my dear fren and wish to apologise to her as well. i understand that she is in no better than me, been pressurized to reveal details about me to him and been made use of. im sorry. i din noe things will turn out to be like this. im sorry to make you live with these nonsense caused by immaturity. im sorry, miko.
finally, i want to stop been so down and carry on my way to my paradise filled with fun, joy and happiness, with no grudges, complaints, backstabs.. haha =p going out on sunday!!! haha shop shop shop arh!! shop till we shiok =p tot of doing my hair tml but all the way to orchard again wor. should i? haha see tml weather gd not bah! wahaha erm.. wad should i do now? haha i noe! make wishes.. haha hope they can get together better as days pass as it is hard to mend a broken frienship.. once broken considered sold! haha i noe that myself ok.. haha hope tml no more rain so no more ppl will get drenched nor sick as a result of it. hope all ppl around me stay happy and healthy and no stress. hope everyone cherish their frens around them. hope i can be more filial, spend more thoughts for my family..hehezz okok shall stop blogging here.. too long le.. scared ppl read until dozed off and waste electricity for switching their lappies or computers..haha mornings =p
i was waiting for bus home at yck interchange when wei xing called me. throughout the whole day, he has been smsing up till now when im blogging.. only stopped awhile when im having nap on way to sch and when im having my lesson. i wonder.. how long can i take this? i din meant to be rude or wad.. but it can be qte irritating if u hafta reply ppl's sms all the day esp when they keep asking abt.. wad u doing?.. eaten alreadi?..today so cold...u slp?...u got watch tv?...such things for example.. how LONG can i actually tolerate these...i wonder .. im sorry but i hafta say that this is really testing my patience.
wad came to worse was that i may no longer tolerate these further. all these years, i have been learning how to keep judgements to myself and give up on no one. give up as in believe that everyone is nice in some way or other. since being a teacher has always been my aspiration, i told myself that i must learn not to give up hope on anybody esp the kids im gg to teach next time(if i really can fulfil my dream). however, i have a feeling im gg to give up believing in someone in particular this time round. is he really telling lies? why he want to make use of miko? why he keep telling me how bad the others are including his own frens? is this wad he calls "friendship"? is friendship such an unworthy thing to him such that he can backstab others all he wants? i began to feel tired of these nonsense.. how?
it has been a long time im stucked in this weird and problematic situation.. never, since jc times. now, i really lost in handling such matters. i wish to take no stand, pass no judgement to anyone but im struggling with this. do i really have the choice to be neutral and stay as frens with all of them? ... i hope cos they are forcing me to choose indirectly.. bombarding me with nonsense about each other every time.. i just wish to be myself... a happy-go-lucky me.
also, i feel guilty my dear fren and wish to apologise to her as well. i understand that she is in no better than me, been pressurized to reveal details about me to him and been made use of. im sorry. i din noe things will turn out to be like this. im sorry to make you live with these nonsense caused by immaturity. im sorry, miko.
finally, i want to stop been so down and carry on my way to my paradise filled with fun, joy and happiness, with no grudges, complaints, backstabs.. haha =p going out on sunday!!! haha shop shop shop arh!! shop till we shiok =p tot of doing my hair tml but all the way to orchard again wor. should i? haha see tml weather gd not bah! wahaha erm.. wad should i do now? haha i noe! make wishes.. haha hope they can get together better as days pass as it is hard to mend a broken frienship.. once broken considered sold! haha i noe that myself ok.. haha hope tml no more rain so no more ppl will get drenched nor sick as a result of it. hope all ppl around me stay happy and healthy and no stress. hope everyone cherish their frens around them. hope i can be more filial, spend more thoughts for my family..hehezz okok shall stop blogging here.. too long le.. scared ppl read until dozed off and waste electricity for switching their lappies or computers..haha mornings =p
what we could have been, 12:41 AM.
